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CHIAO DUDES! THIS IS THE LINE FOR YOU GREETING-ADDICTS... IT WILL ROLL AND ROLL OVER AND OVER AGAIN, TOTALLY FREE FROM ANYTHING, SAVE THIS INTRODUCTION AND THOSE ENDLESS BYTES OF NAMES... LET IT BEGIN... .ABSOLUT VODKA TEAM. .ACTION. .AGENT 007. .ALABAMA. .ALIENS. .ANARCHY. .ANTIMON. .ANTIPROTECTION GROUP. .ASIA. .ATOM. .AXION/CRAZY. .BABY GANG. .BASS. .BEST COMPANY. .BEYOND FORCE. .BONE. .BONES/CRAZY. .BROWBEAT. .BYTERAPERS. .BYTESTAR. .CONTEX. .COOL CREW. .COSMOS. .DEAD ON ARRIVAL. .DEMAND. .DOLPHINS. .DOMINATORS. .DREAM WARRIORS. .DSU. .ELTRONIC. .F4CG. .FAIRLIGHT. .FINNISH GOLD. .FKC. .FLEXIBLE. .FORCE. .FRANTIC. .FUN. .GENESIS PROJECT/FIRE EAGLE. .GERMAN HACKING FACTORY. .HATE. .HELLCATS. .IRS. .JOKER. .JUKEBOX. .LADY COOL. .LEGEND. .LEVEL 99. .LUCK. .MANTRONIX. .MEGADETH. .NETWORK. .NEW FORMULA CREW. .NOISE. .OASE. .OREGON. .ORION. .PARAMOUNT. .PCS-MILANO. .PLASMA. .PRIME. .QUASARSOFT. .RCS 2100/CRAZY. .RIZING. .SCIENCE 451. .SEALANDSOFT. .SEICO. .SHAPE. .SHIT. .SPENCH. .STARDOM. .SQUADRON. .TEAM 2003. .THE GOLDEN TRIANGLE. .THE TRACER CREW. .THE TROOPERS. .THUNDERSOFT. .TRIAD. .TRONIX. .UNIBIT. .UNIC. .UNITRAX. .VISION. .WARRIORS OF TIME. .WEIRD SCIENCE. .WELFARE SOFTWARE BOYS. .WHOOP. .WICU. .WIZ-ZARDS. .WORLDWIDE EXPRESSIVE. .YANKEES. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! - HELLO? ANYBODY THERE? AH,WHAT THE FUCK! GUESS I'LL TALK A BIT ANYWAY, SOONER OR LATER SOMEONE MIGHT COME BY... THIS LITTLE DEMO WAS STARTED AT THE PARTY IN SLAGELSE, DENMARK, HELD BY THE JOLLY BLOKES IN IKARI AND ZARGON... IT WAS FIRST MEANT TO BE A PART OF THE DEMO MADE BY THE RIFFS-MEMBERS PRESENT, BUT SINCE SARUMAN AND I WERE SUPPOSED TO DRIVE THE CAR BACK TO SWEDEN, I THOUGHT IT WAS WISER TO FINISH IT LATER ON THAN TO STAY UP ALL MORNING THE LAST DAY... SO I FINISHED THE ROUTINES AT HOME... SCHEIZE! FORGOT TO TELL YOU MY NAME, BUT I GUESS YOU CAN READ IT ON THE LINE BELOW..... RIGHT CHUM! IT'S VIRGIL WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE, AND THE STUNNING GRAPHICS WERE MADE BY AUDREY (YESHENES LAKEBRANCH (??) ) , THE HEAVY TUNE BY ROB HUBBARD.... NOW I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME I LET YOU HEAR THE FUNNIEST STORY OF THEM ALL FROM THE PARTY IN DENMARK, THE ONE ABOUT MR.X (SLEEPY THIEF), MR.Y (SLEEPY DISCDRIVE-OWNER) AND Z (MR.Y'S DISCDRIVE (SLEEPY? .ED)). TO START WITH, MR.X IS SITTING BY MR.Y'S COMPUTERSET, DOING SOME SHIT,AT THE MEANWHILE MR.Y IS SLEEPING ON TWO CHAIRS BESIDE IT. WE RIFFERS SIT ABOUT ONE AND A HALF METRE TO THE LEFT. THEN MR.X GETS SLEEPIER AND SLEEPIER, FINALLY HE FALLS ASLEEP, LEANING HIS HEAD ON THE DISCDRIVE. THIS LOOKS QUITE DANGEROUS, THE DISCDRIVE STANDING ON THE VERY EDGE OF THE TABLE AND SO ON, BUT NO, WE SAY, DON'T WAKE UP A POOR BLOKE WHO SEEMS TO NEED ALL THE SLEEP HE CAN GET. WE CONTINUE OUR BUISNESSES WHEN SUDDENLY THE DISCDRIVE STARTS TO DRIFT OFF THE EDGE, BUT WOW! MR.X AWAKENS AS SWIFTLY AS A RABBIT FUCKS, AND CATCHES IT JUST AS IT IS ABOUT TO USE NEWTONS PRINCIPLES ON THE FALLING APPLE. (FREEZE!! NO, I REPEAT NO PR FOR ANOTHER COMPUTER THAN COMMODORE IS ALLOWED IN A TEXT TO BE PUBLICLY SPREAD, HEAR ME? ) SORRY, WE'LL TAKE THAT AGAIN... BLABLA BLA, AND CATCHES IT JUST AS IT IS ABOUT TO USE NEWTONS PRINCIPLES ON THE FALLING KIDNYPIE. (YEUCH! .ED) WELL, TO SAY THAT MR.X WOKE UP WOULD BE TELLING A LIE, BUT HE GOT INTO SOME STATE IN BETWEEN SLEEP AND NO SLEEP. (XAKK?? .ED) AS HE SAT THERE WITH THE DISCDRIVE IN HIS HANDS I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT TIME I HELPED HIM A LITTLE, SINCE HE WAS ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AGAIN. SO THEN I GOT UP AND TAPPED HIM ON THE SHOULDER, SAYING: "EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT WOULD YOU PLEASE PUT UP THAT DISCDRIVE BEFORE YOU DROP IT?" (I DOAN REMEMBER IT BEING THAT POLITE, EH? .ED) ,AND THE GUY LOOKS AT ME WITH EYES LIKE ELEPHANT-BOLLOCKS, THEN LOOKS AT THE DISCDRIVE AND TRIES TO PUT IT ON THE TABLE... AS I WAS A BIT RESTLESS AT THAT MOMENT, I WENT ABOUT TEN METRES AWAY TO TALK WITH BILBO OF SCIENCE 451, WHO SAT CHATTING WITH SOME GUYS. THEN WHEN I LOOKED BACK, MR.X WAS STILL TRYING TO PUT THE DRIVE ONTO THE TABLE, SO I TOLD BILBO: "YO, LOOK AT THAT GUY OVER THERE, HE HAS QUITE ALOT OF TROUBLE, OR WHAT DO YOU THINK?" SO WE SIT THERE FOR A WHILE, WATCHING THIS GUY AND HIS UNSUCCESFUL ATTEMPTS, WHEN SUDDENLY HE SEEMS TO GIVE UP, AND RISES, STILL WITH THE DRIVE IN HIS HANDS, AND WALKS AWAY, WITHOUT LOOSING ONE CABLE!!!!!!!! BANG! HE STOPS, TRIES AGAIN, BUT SEEMS TO REALIZE THAT IT WON'T WORK, LOOSES THE POWERSUPPLY-CABLE TO THE DRIVE AND PULLS THE CONNECTION-CABLE BETWEEN THE DRIVE AND THE COMMY WHEN HE WALKS AWAY FOR THE THIRD TIME. WE LAUGH ABOUT IT SOME TIME, THAT WEIRD FELLOW SIMPLY GOING AWAY WITH THE DISCDRIVE TO GET SOME SLEEP OR SOMETHING SIMILIAR. THEN I WAS AWAY ON A LITTLE MISSION INTO THE NIGHT, AND WHEN I CAME BACK ONE HOUR LATER, MR.Y WAS AWAKE, A BIT SLEEPY, BUT STILL AWAKE. HE STOOD THERE FOR SOME TIME, LOOKING AT THE EMPTY PLACE WHERE HIS DISCDRIVE HAD STOOD, AND THEN TURNED TO US. "HAVE YOU SEEN MY DISCDRIVE?" WE WERE QUITE SURPRISED, COZ WE REALLY BELIEVED THAT IT ACTUALLY WAS MR.X'S DRIVE. HOWEVER, WE TOLD HIM WHAT HAD HAPPENED AND STARTED TO LOOK FOR MR.X... WE FOUND THE BLOKE ABOUT TEN METRES TO THE LEFT OF OUR 'CAMP', SITTING SLEEPING ON A CHAIR AND THE DRIVE PLACED AT HIS FEET... NO HARM DONE, MR.X ASLEEP, MR.Y GOT THE DRIVE BACK AND WE GOT A GOOD LAUGH... THEN THE DAY AFTER WE WENT HOME, AND NO FUNNY EVENTS HAS BEEN IN MY WAY SO FAR. AS I HOPE YOU HAVE NOTICED, YOU WILL NOT GET ANY GREETINGS IN THIS SCROLLER SINCE THEY ARE VIEWED BELOW. THERE WILL HOWEVER BE SOME MESSAGES LATER, BUT NOT YET! WE NOW MAKE AN INTERRUPT FOR A LITTLE BOOK-HINT: 'MAIA' BY RICHARD ADAMS, WHO HAS ALSO RELEASED 'SHARDIK', 'WATERSHIP DOWN' AND A FEW MORE. 'MAIA' IS ABOUT A GIRL WHO GETS SOLD BY HER MOTHER AS SLAVE. SHE IS TAKEN TO BEKLA, A MAJOR CITY IN THE EMPIRE. THERE SHE BECOMES SOLD TOGETHER WITH HER NEW-MADE BLACK FRIEND OCCULA TO A FAT, FILTHY BRUTE, AS BEDGIRL. SHE RISES IN THE HIGH SOCIETY AS A GIRL OF OUTSTANDING LOOKS AND SOON BECOMES INVOLVED IN THE MANY INTRIGUES OF THE UPPER, POWERFUL CLASS. I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOU WILL NOT BE DISSAPOINTED IF YOU LIKE FANTASY BOOKS LIKE 'THE LORD OF THE RINGS' AND SIMILIAR, I THINK IT'S FAB! ON THE BED-TABLE AT THE MOMENT: 'THE FOURTH PROTOCOL', BY FREDERICK FORSYTH. I HAVE ONLY READ 50 PAGES YET, SO I WILL NOT PASS ON ANY JUDGEMENT IN THE MATTER YET, BUT IT HAS STARTED WELL! WELL, LET'S PASS ON THOSE MESSAGES, AND THERE IS A CHANCE THAT ONE OF THEM MIGHT CONCERN JUST YOU! FIRST OUT: MARAUDER/GSS/RIFFS (YO MATE! I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU AGAIN! YOU WERE A REAL RADICAL DUDE WHO HAS TO BE SEEN, NOT HEARD OF! MY BEST WISHES AND A LITTLE HOPE THAT YOU'LL LIKE THIS! SAY HELLO TO PITCHMAN FROM ME!) HYDRON, JAC, CZAR AND WONDERBOY/DIAMONDS/RIFFS (YO MEN! I LIKED YOUR STYLE! YOU WERE GREAT GUYS AND I HOPE WE CAN MEET AGAIN TOO! BEST WISHES! BY THE WAY, CZAR, DID YOU GET HOME BY HITCH-HIKING TOO?) HENRIK/ZARGON (SORRY FOR FORGETTING YOUR NICKNAME, PAL! WHAT? WHO I AM? WELL, IT WAS I WHO TASTED THE COFFEE, REMEMBER? I THINK WE HAD SOME COOL CHATS TOGETHER, ALTHOUGH THE UNDERSTANDING WHEN YOU SPOKE DANISH AND I SWEDISH WERE BELOW FIFTY PERCENT I THINK... LET'S KEEP TO ENGLISH IF WE MEET AGAIN, COOL GUY!) FIREFLY/DOLPHINS (COOL TO MEET YOU CONTACT! HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SOME TIME. HELLO ALSO TO YOUR NICE GROUPFELLOWS. BEST WISHES FOR DOLPHINS AND SEND SOON.) SKY/BYTERAPERS (SOME RE-UNION EH? "SORRY,BUT WHERE DID YOU BUY THAT BOOZE?" "JANNE!" "VA FAN,SKY!" WELL,IT'S A SMALL WORLD! WATCH OUT FOR A PACKAGE!! BETTER WISHES (?) SEE YA SOON, I HOPE.) TC '87/LIFE/RIFFS (NICE TO CHAT A FEW SEC ON DA PHONIUM, BUT I SHOULD REALLY PULL MYSELF TOGETHER AND CHAT SOME IN A LETTER TOO, BUT YOU DO KNOW I'M A LAZY BASTARD, DON'T YOU, WEALTHYARD SMART?? ) COPKILLER/ELTRONIC (SEE YOU ON THE BUS SOME DAY...) PRIZMA/ELTRONIC (STOP HACKING IN THE LIBRARYS COMPUTER OR I'LL TURN YOU IN! KIDDING.... TOO BAD WE COULDN'T FIND THE GAMES-MENU ON THAT FUCKING PC...) SONNY/OREGON, ?/HELLCATS, BIG/BEST COMPANY, TECHNOCRACK/GHF, HAWK/WWE (BEST FRIENDS! I'M REALLY AND SADLY AWARE OF MY AWFUL BEHAVIOUR AGAINST YOU, BUT PLEASE DON'T HOLD IT AGAINST ME, LET'S TAKE UP OUR USUAL SPEED AND KEEP UP THE GOOD CONTACT, SHALL WE?) INXS/SEICO (HELLO CHUM! NICE TALKING TO YA ON DA PHONE THE OTHER DAY!) PERNOD/FLT AND WAS IT BIG SWEDE/AVT? (THANX FOR EVERYTHING PERNOD! YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! AND I HAD JOLLY FUN TALKING TO YOU AND BIG SWEDE!! BEST WISHES!) THE GIRL WHO DRAWED ON THE AMIGA (THANX FOR BEING THERE, CUTE ONE!) IKARI/ZARGON (THANX FOR ARRANGING A SUCCESFUL PARTY AND FOR SUPPLYING LOADS'A COKE, BEER AND THOSE MEATPIECES WHO TASTED LOVELY! AND ESPECIALLY FOR BREWING COFFEE WHEN WE MOST OF ALL NEEDED IT!) KARL XII/GROOVY BITS (YOU ARE A COOL GUY, BUT IF YOU KNEW HOW MUCH SHIT YOU AND SKY/BYTERAPERS SPOKE WHEN WE WENT TO THAT DISCO YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT! WATCH THOSE GLASSES A BIT BETTER NEXT TIME!) BILBO/SCIENCE 451 (NICE TO SEE YOU FOR THE FOURTH TIME!) RYGAR/SCIENCE 451 (WELL, WE DON'T KNOW EACHOTHER REALLY, DO WE? BUT I MUST SAY, YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST GUY I HAVE EVER SEEN JUST WHEN YOU AWAKE, YOU OUGHT TO TRY TO PLAY IN ZOMBIE-MOVIES!) WELL, GUESS THAT WAS IT, SORRY IF I LET YA OUT, JUST GIVE ME A CALL AND I'LL READ SOME SATANIC VERSES TO YA. TALKING ABOUT THAT, ISN'T IT TIME THAT WE POWERFUL COMMYFREAKS WORLDWIDE GET TOGETHER AND FORM THE ANTI-KHOMENI-FEDERATION ?? SOMEONE HAS TO STOP THAT LUNETIC FROM BLOWING THE WORLD TO PIECES! I HEREBY LET THE WORLD KNOW THAT MY POINT IN THIS QUESTION IS: 1. THEIR FUCKING BIBLE (THE 'KORANEN' IN SWEDISH) IS ALL A BIG LIE. 2.ALLAH IS A BIG FAT LIE TOO. 3.MUHAMMED WAS A WHORE'S DROPOUT INTO THE LOO A BAD MONDAY AND A FUCKING LUCKY SURVIVOR FROM THE SHIT-SMELL OF A CUMWET ARSEHOLES LETOUT THE DAY BEFORE. COME ON AYATOLLAH, MAKE MY DAY! I MUST BUY MYSELF A CAR SOON... A SAAB 900 TURBO PERHAPS? WELL, WE'LL SEE THIS SUMMER WHEN I START TO WORK... I'M MAYBE BUYING AN AMIGA TOO, BUT ONLY TO BE ABLE TO GET FRESH AND ENCHANTING ADVENTURES AND ROLEGAMES... I'LL NEVER SELL MY C64... I MUST BUY A PRINTER AND A MODEM FOR THE 64 TOO.... HMM, I THINK I'LL HAVE TO MAKE A PRIORITY-LIST FOR THIS SHIT, SEEMS TO BE GETTING QUITE EXPENSIVE!! THE OTHER WEEK I SAW JEAN-MICHEL JARRE'S CONCERT 'DESTINATION DOCKLANDS' ON THE TELLY, BOY, IS HE FAB! I ALREADY HAD THREE RECORDS OF HIS, AND I HAD SEEN THE HOUSTON-CONCERT ON TV, BUT I GOT REALLY SURPRISED BY THE WAY THAT MAN'S MUSIC FASCINATES ME! HE'S A LIVING HERO! MANY PEOPLE MIGHT BE SURPRISED, BUT I CAN ACTUALLY LISTEN WITH THE SAME PLEASURE TO ACCEPT OR JUDAS PRIEST AS TO KRAFTWERK OR JEAN-MICHEL JARRE!! SOME MAY FIND IT WEIRD, BUT I THINK IT'S GREAT, BEING ABLE TO ABSORBE THE BEST OF TWO WORLDS... HMM, I'LL THINK I'LL GRAB THE OPPORTUNITY NOW AND CRY TO THE WORLD: "ANGELIKA JOHANSSON, I LOVE YOU!!" SHE IS IN MY ENGLISH-CLASS AND HAS A REALLY LOVEABLE PERSONALITY... GUESS SHE NEVER WILL READ THIS BUT ANYWAY... PERHAPS I SHOULD ASK HER TO COME WITH ME TO HAWAII WHEN I WIN A MILLION ON 'LOTTO' THIS SATURDAY? YES I WILL, AND YOU WILL BE MY WITNESSES! BY THE WAY, THIS DEMO IS TRULY DEDICATED TO HER ASWELL... I'M GETTING QUITE RESTLESS HERE, Y'SEE I ATE A PIZZA A FEW HOURS AGO AND IT WANTS TO GET OUT... BUT FUCK NO, I'LL GO GET A COLD BEER FROM THE FRIDGE INSTEAD. TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP (THE SUCKER IS WALKING DOWNSTAIRS. .ED) TAP TAP TAP THUMP EUREKA! TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP BACKIE! AAAAAAAHHHH! THE FIRST SWIG OF THE CAN IS DEFINATELY THE BEST! DET ER ET MOE GODT DANSK OEL FRA CARLSBERG! (DANISH RE-MIX COPYRIGHT BY ME, ISBN 0 09 158630 5)... HERE COMES A LITTLE JOKIE FROM MY ENGLISH-BOOK, IT'S ABOUT A REPORTER WHO GETS TOLD BY HIS BOSS NOT TO WRITE SO LONG NOTES. THEN THE REPORTER MAKES A BRILL ONE: TOM JOHNSON WAS GOING TO CHECK HOW MUCH PETROL THERE WERE LEFT. HE LIT A MATCH. AGE THIRTY. HAR HAR HAR HAR (THE STUPID DIMWIT LAUGHS AT HIS OWN JOKES! .ED) HAR HAR HAR.... BACKGROUND-MUSIC AT THE MO': GIRLS,GIRLS,GIRLS BY MOTLEY CRUE - SUPERB! HERE COMES A LITTLE LIST CONSISTING PEOPLE WHO MADE THE DEMO POSSIBLE: MARAUDER/GSS/RIFFS (SUPPLIED THE CIGARETTES AT Z/I'S PARTY WHEN THE MAJOR CODING WAS DONE) STATOIL/SLAGELSE (THE GASSTATION WHERE WE BOUGHT THE BREAD AND SALAMI) MY MOTHER (FOOD,COFFEE,ATTENTION,WAKENING IN EARLY MORNINGS AND KICKING ME AWAY TO SCHOOL,LENDING ME MONEY WHEN I MOST NEED IT AND ALSO LENDING ME THE CAR WHEN I HAVE TO USE IT) SARUMAN/LIFE (FRIENDLY CHATS AND ALL THE REST) AUDREY/LIFE (GRAPHICS AND FUNNY CHATS) NIKE/RELAX (BEING A SUPERB FRIEND AND LETTING ME HAVE HIS BOOKS; MAPPING AND 64 ROM DISSASEMBLY AND ALSO GIVING ME HIS DISCDRIVE-CABLE WHEN MY WENT TO HELL, IN SHORT: MY SPONSOR!) MARWIN/RELAX (COFFEE,CHATS AND A WONDERFUL CHILDHOOD) ALL DEMO-MAKERS OUT THERE WHO HAS MADE DEMOS WHICH MADE ME DO THIS ONE (THANX FOR ENTERTAINING ME!) AND NOW 'SOD OFF' TO PEOPLE WHO NEARLY MADE THIS DEMO IMPOSSIBLE: THE TWO IRANIANS WHO OWNS THE TOBACCO-SHOP HERE (YOU SUCKERS, TRY AT LEAST TO GIVE ME A CADDY OF SNUFF NEXT TIME INSTEAD OF A PORNOMAG! (CATCH/CATS)) MY STEREO (WHY DID YOU BLOW UP THE OTHER LOUDSPEAKER, HUH?) OOPPS! WE HAVE REACHED 11960 BYTES... STILL WANNA READ? I WANNA WRITE, SO HANG ON TILL THE END PLEASE! (MY, AREN'T WE POLITE TODAY, SCUMBAG! .ED) THINK IT'S TIME FOR A COOL JOKE NOW... THE MADAME SAID IN CONFIDENCE TO THE MAID: "I THINK MY HUSBAND IS CHEATING ON ME WITH HIS SECRETARY!" THEN THE MAID SAID: "OH, MADAME, YOU'RE ONLY SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME JEALOUS, AREN'T YOU?" HE. DO YOU KNOW HOW FAR IT IS FROM THE LID TO THE WATER IN A LOO?? I DON'T EITHER, SO PLEASE STAND BY A FEW SECS... WELL, I MEASURED FROM THE RIM TO THE WATER INSTEAD AND IT MEASURED.... 25.5 CENTIMETRES! AND THAT MEANS ALMOST EXACTLY 10 INCHES! NOW WHEN WE HAVE ALL THESE FACTS, WE CAN CALCULATE THE SPEED OUR SHIT HAS WHEN IT HITS THE WATER, BUT SINCE I'M A NICE GUY I'LL LET IT BE THE QUEST FOR YOU TO DO. ALL ANSWERS ARE HAPPILY RECEIVED AT: SWEDISH SHIT INC. , PERVERT ROAD 12, 1234 LOO-NDON , BRITAIN ... AS FOR SPEED WHEN LEAVING THE BODY, LET US FOR SIMPLICITYS SAKE CALCULATE WITH 10 INCHES PER SECOND. THE FIRST RECEIVED CORRECT ANSWER WILL GET A CANOE AND A FREE TICKET TO THE SEWERS IN NEW YORK... HEY! DON'T FORGET TO BRING A MACHINE-GUN TO USE ON THE CROCODILES!!! IF ME GET AN INCORRECT ANSWER YOU WILL BE PUNISHED TO BE CHAINED NAKED IN A MONESTARY, FULL OF HORNY MONKS.... BRRRRRR! THAT HURTS! HEY GERMANS! I'VE LEARNED A NEW WORD: VOTZE! (YOU PERVERT .ED) CHRIST, I CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS, I GOTTA QUIT FOR TODAY, I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS TEXT FOR HOURS NOW.... GUESS I'LL RELAX WITH SOME CODING OR SHITTING NOW.... SEE YA TOMORROW!! (HERE FOLLOWS SILENCE FOR 13 HOURS WHICH I COMPRESSED INTO 20 EMPTY CHARACTERS) HI AGAIN! DO YA KNOW WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CUTTING AN ONION AND CUTTING A FAGGOT IS? YOU CRY WHEN YOU CUT THE ONION.... LAUGH BOY... TOMORRA IT'S SCHOOL AGAIN, BUT THEN I KEEP THINKING: "WHAT THE FUCK, THIS SUMMER I'M OUTTA IT FOR AS LONG AS I WISH, SO WHO CARES?" THAT THOUGHT IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME ALIVE... SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN READING MY WEIRD TEXT SO FAR DEAR STRANGER, I MIGHT AS WELL GIVE YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO SWAP WITH ME, IF YOUR STUFF IS GOOD ENOUGH, THAT IS... BUT ALL DISKS ARE RETURNED, I'VE ONLY STOLEN DISKS ONCE IN MY LIFE, IT WAS FROM A DUTCH WEIRDO WHO SENT 2 EMPTY (!!) DISKS AND ASKED ME TO FILL 'EM WITH STUFF... IF YOU ARE A ROLEGAMESLOVER I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YA, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A CODER TOO AND WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A GAME WITH ME... OK, LETS TAKE THE ADRESS.... VIRGIL/LIFE MELLANGATAN 4 388 04 TREKANTEN SWEDEN PHONE: +46 480 50401 (JANNE).... OR SEARCH IN MEMORY... I THINK 1989 HAS BEEN QUITE A GOOD DEMOYEAR SO FAR, THE BEST ONE I'VE SEEN I THINK IS 'PIMPLESQUEESER 6', THE TUNE IN THE LAST PART IS REALLY GREAT, ESPECIALLY THE LAST 'TUNE' OF THOSE REMIXES... AND I CAN'T REMEMBER HOW LONG IT WAS SINCE I HEARD 'COMIC BAKERY', IT BROUGHT UP MEMORIES FROM DAYS WHEN THE DEMOS WERE FEWER BUT THE DEMOLOVE WAS MORE INTENSE. WHO DOESN'T REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME ONE SAW 'NO LIMITS' ? THE EYES WERE LIKE RATDICKS, SURELY ONE INCH FURTHER OUT THAN USUAL... AND ALL THOSE 'GAME MUSICS', THOSE WERE DAYS WHEN GRANDPA WAS YOUNG... NO, IT'S NO USE CRYING OVER LOST DAYS, YOU HAVE TO MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF WHAT YOU GOT, AND I SURE WILL TRY TO DO SO. I'M NO ORIGINAL PROGRAMMER LIKE OMEGA SUPREME OR THE OTHERS WHO SEEM TO SHIT OUT FRESH ROUTINES, BUT I TRY TO DO THE BEST OF WHAT I'VE GOT. THIS DEMO ISN'T REALLY A DEMO WITH LOADS OF ACTION, AND THAT'S BAD. I'LL TRY TO BE BETTER IN THE FUTURE GUYS, PROMISE! YOU MIGHT NOT SEE ANY CHANGE IN THE NEAREST FUTURE, BUT IN THE LONG RUN I'LL PULL MYSELF TOGETHER AND MAKE BETTER ONES! HMM... I THINK I GOTTA GO DOWN AND FETCH A CUP OF COFFEE NOW, SO THAT I CAN FIGURE OUT A SMOOTH WAY OF ENDING THIS TEXT, SO THAT I CAN GO TO SLEEP. (YOUR BEAUTY IS BEYOND RESCUE MY FRIEND... .ED) IT TURNED OUT TO BE A GLASS OF LIGHT-MILK AND SOME LEFT-OVER PIZZASALLAD INSTEAD, BUT SO WHAT. WELL MY FRIEND, THE TIME FOR A PAINFUL BYE-BYE IS DRASTICLY CLOSING IN, AND I MUST SAY THAT YOU HAVE BEEN VERY PATIENT WITH MY SWIFT TURNS IN SUBJECT AND LONG MESSAGES AND SO ON. YOU DESERVE, AND HAVE, MY FULL RESPECT AND I HOPE THAT WE'LL MEET SOME DAY.... BUT UNTIL THAT MOMENT OR MY NEXT DEMO, HEJ DAU! (BYE-BYE, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, AU REVOIR .ED) PS. HEY YOU! IF YOU'RE A SWEDE, AND IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR MILITARY SERVICES IN KARLSKRONA (KA2) STARTING JANUARY '90, GIVE ME A CALL OR SEND A LETTER, READ THE TEXT AGAIN (AAAAARRRGGG! .ED) OR SEARCH ADRESS IN MEMORY! ALSO WELCOME WITH LETTERS: GIRLS... ONE LAST JOKE, OK? IT'S ABOUT MIKE, A TEN YEAR OLD BOY IN THIRD CLASS. WELL, THEIR CLASS IS GOING AWAY ON A OVER-NIGHT TRIP FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND WHEN THEY'RE THERE AND ABOUT TO GO TO THEIR BEDROOMS, MIKE ASKS HIS PRETTY, YOUNG, FEMALE TEACHER: "MISS, I CAN'T SLEEP ALONE, I ALWAYS SLEEP WITH MUM AT HOME, CAN I SLEEP BY YOUR SIDE?" HIS TEACHER THINKS FOR A WHILE AND SAYS "OK." WHEN THEY SO LIE IN BED AND THE LIGHTS ARE OUT, MIKE SAYS: "PLEASE MISS, I CAN'T SLEEP IF I HAVEN'T GOT MY FINGER IN MY MOTHERS NAVLE, CAN'T I HAVE MY FINGER IN YOURS?" HIS TEACHER SAYS SLEEPILY "OK." A FEW SECONDS LATER THE TEACHERS VOICE IS HEARD AGAIN "MIKE, THAT ISN'T MY NAVLE" THEN MIKES YOUNG, SELFSECURE VOICE IS HEARD "THAT ISN'T MY FINGER EITHER" (WELL, WHEN IS THE FUNNY PART COMING? .ED) SEE YA AROUND MATES! - THE FIRST RECEIVED CORRECT ANSWER WILL GET A CANOE AND A FREE TICKET TO THE SEWERS IN NEW YORK - HEY! DON'T FORGET TO BRING A MACHINE-GUN TO USE ON THE CROCODILES - IF ME GET AN INCORRECT ANSWER YOU WILL BE PUNISHED TO BE CHAINED NAKED IN A MONESTARY, FULL OF HORNY MONKS - %HEY GERMANS! I'VE LEARNED A NEW WORD: - 8VOTZE! (YOU PERVERT .ED) - CHRIST, I CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS, I GOTTA QUIT FOR TODAY, I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS TEXT FOR HOURS NOW - 2 GUESS I'LL RELAX WITH SOME CODING OR SHITTING NOW - .2 SEE YA TOMORROW!! - (HERE FOLLOWS SILENCE FOR 13 HOURS WHICH I COMPRESSED INTO 20 EMPTY CHARACTERS) - DO YA KNOW WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CUTTING AN ONION AND CUTTING A FAGGOT IS? - >YOU CRY WHEN YOU CUT THE ONION - TOMORRA IT'S SCHOOL AGAIN, BUT THEN I KEEP THINKING: "WHAT THE FUCK, THIS SUMMER I'M OUTTA IT FOR AS LONG AS I WISH, SO WHO CARES?" THAT THOUGHT IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME ALIVE - SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN READING MY WEIRD TEXT SO FAR DEAR STRANGER, I MIGHT AS WELL GIVE YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO SWAP WITH ME, IF YOUR STUFF IS GOOD ENOUGH, THAT IS - BUT ALL DISKS ARE RETURNED, I'VE ONLY STOLEN DISKS ONCE IN MY LIFE, IT WAS FROM A DUTCH WEIRDO WHO SENT 2 EMPTY (!!) DISKS AND ASKED ME TO FILL 'EM WITH STUFF - IF YOU ARE A ROLEGAMESLOVER I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YA, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A CODER TOO AND WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A GAME WITH ME - 8OK, LETS TAKE THE ADRESS - .5 OR SEARCH IN MEMORY - I THINK 1989 HAS BEEN QUITE A GOOD DEMOYEAR SO FAR, THE BEST ONE I'VE SEEN I THINK IS 'PIMPLESQUEESER 6', THE TUNE IN THE LAST PART IS REALLY GREAT, ESPECIALLY THE LAST 'TUNE' OF THOSE REMIXES - AND I CAN'T REMEMBER HOW LONG IT WAS SINCE I HEARD 'COMIC BAKERY', IT BROUGHT UP MEMORIES FROM DAYS WHEN THE DEMOS WERE FEWER BUT THE DEMOLOVE WAS MORE INTENSE. WHO DOESN'T REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME ONE SAW 'NO LIMITS' ? - THE EYES WERE LIKE RATDICKS, SURELY ONE INCH FURTHER OUT THAN USUAL - AND ALL THOSE 'GAME MUSICS', THOSE WERE DAYS WHEN GRANDPA WAS YOUNG - NO, IT'S NO USE CRYING OVER LOST DAYS, YOU HAVE TO MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF WHAT YOU GOT, AND I SURE WILL TRY TO DO SO. I'M NO ORIGINAL PROGRAMMER LIKE OMEGA SUPREME OR THE OTHERS WHO SEEM TO SHIT OUT FRESH ROUTINES, BUT I TRY TO DO THE BEST OF WHAT I'VE GOT. THIS DEMO ISN'T REALLY A DEMO WITH LOADS OF ACTION, AND THAT'S BAD. I'LL TRY TO BE BETTER IN THE FUTURE GUYS, PROMISE! YOU MIGHT NOT SEE ANY CHANGE IN THE NEAREST FUTURE, BUT IN THE LONG RUN I'LL PULL MYSELF TOGETHER AND MAKE BETTER ONES! HMM - I THINK I GOTTA GO DOWN AND FETCH A CUP OF COFFEE NOW, SO THAT I CAN FIGURE OUT A SMOOTH WAY OF ENDING THIS TEXT, SO THAT I CAN GO TO SLEEP. - '(YOUR BEAUTY IS BEYOND RESCUE MY FRIEND - IT TURNED OUT TO BE A GLASS OF LIGHT-MILK AND SOME LEFT-OVER PIZZASALLAD INSTEAD, BUT SO WHAT. WELL MY FRIEND, THE TIME FOR A PAINFUL BYE-BYE IS DRASTICLY CLOSING IN, AND I MUST SAY THAT YOU HAVE BEEN VERY PATIENT WITH MY SWIFT TURNS IN SUBJECT AND LONG MESSAGES AND SO ON. YOU DESERVE, AND HAVE, MY FULL RESPECT AND I HOPE THAT WE'LL MEET SOME DAY - 1 BUT UNTIL THAT MOMENT OR MY NEXT DEMO, HEJ DAU! - )(BYE-BYE, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, AU REVOIR .ED) - PS. HEY YOU! IF YOU'RE A SWEDE, AND IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR MILITARY SERVICES IN KARLSKRONA (KA2) STARTING JANUARY '90, GIVE ME A CALL OR SEND A LETTER, READ THE TEXT AGAIN ( - ! .ED) OR SEARCH ADRESS IN MEMORY! ALSO WELCOME WITH LETTERS: GIRLS - 2ONE LAST JOKE, OK? - IT'S ABOUT MIKE, A TEN YEAR OLD BOY IN THIRD CLASS. WELL, THEIR CLASS IS GOING AWAY ON A OVER-NIGHT TRIP FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND WHEN THEY'RE THERE AND ABOUT TO GO TO THEIR BEDROOMS, MIKE ASKS HIS PRETTY, YOUNG, FEMALE TEACHER: "MISS, I CAN'T SLEEP ALONE, I ALWAYS SLEEP WITH MUM AT HOME, CAN I SLEEP BY YOUR SIDE?" HIS TEACHER THINKS FOR A WHILE AND SAYS "OK." WHEN THEY SO LIE IN BED AND THE LIGHTS ARE OUT, MIKE SAYS: "PLEASE MISS, I CAN'T SLEEP IF I HAVEN'T GOT MY FINGE -